tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post404527462661089222..comments2023-11-15T21:54:30.888-08:00Comments on Greenspeak: Hellmouth ConfidentialJeff Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16156559263867246922noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-73899836801923129762009-10-13T18:17:54.662-07:002009-10-13T18:17:54.662-07:00Wow, Jeff. I just wanted to let you know that I r...Wow, Jeff. I just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate you putting something this private up for us folks to see. Every now and then on the show you would say something that made me think there were stories like this that you had running through your head, and it was great to read it here.<br /><br />And y'know.. Pity wasn't the first feeling I had as I read your words. It was understanding.Pandahttp://www.vgpanda.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-17593241376369231782009-10-08T00:46:16.142-07:002009-10-08T00:46:16.142-07:00Wow, absolutely beautiful words once again Jeff Gr...Wow, absolutely beautiful words once again Jeff Green. <br /><br />I was a complete loser in high school, always with the same small group of friends, but I was never really sociable so I was usually was alone. Yet, high school won't be the years that will come back and haunt me (that'll be my childhood, but that's for another topic). I realize I did not go through any major emotional trauma, especially one as big as my best friends turning on me. I've always told myself that not having something is much worse than getting it taken away.Kevin Elgarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03217935692850642475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-18926190125004588392009-10-03T16:37:50.182-07:002009-10-03T16:37:50.182-07:00Thanks so much for being forward with this post......Thanks so much for being forward with this post... it's a relief not feeling alone...<br />I came to high school with a small but established group of friends from my elementary school. But pretty quickly they started branching out into other groups (understandable), mainly sports, and started hanging out with that crowd. I am incredibly uncoordinated and could not even make the golf team, and so my ties to them started to weaken.<br />In addition, my brother got cancer soon after, and my dad had to take a second job to help cover the medical costs, working from 9PM to 3PM the next day, spending the balance of the next day asleep at home. I became very depressed, which pretty much made me an untouchable in the paradise which is Orange County, where everyone is expected to be happy all the time. From that point forward, even my old friends felt comfortable completely ignoring me.<br />Further complicating the mess, I was (and am) an atheist, forced by my mother to attend Catholic School. So any time I would want to speak up in class to talk about things that actually mattered to me, I would almost always be promptly silenced with comments like "Oh, he only thinks that because he has no soul" or "Did anyone just feel all the warmth get sucked out of the room?" which would garner laughs from just about everyone. I'm not stupid, and I quickly learned not to speak up. I too internalized their asinine remarks, and my self esteem fell through the floor. I walked around school without making eye contact with anyone, and especially without ever speaking. I became suicidal, but thankfully was too much of a coward to ever go through with it.<br />I had no friends, and traveled almost exclusively between school and home for the entirety of my sophomore and junior years. It was the worst time of my life.<br />But that aside (feels good to get it off my chest), I want to thank you for doing the GFW Radio podcast, which helped keep me company during that time, and for writing this blog post, as I respect your work very much, and am relieved to hear you had a similar experience.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10848259675187247637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-3542348139344798112009-10-03T07:59:47.046-07:002009-10-03T07:59:47.046-07:00I appreciated your story Jeff. I hope it was as c...I appreciated your story Jeff. I hope it was as cathartic for you writing as it was for me, and I'm sure many others, in reading it.<br /><br />I'm only 23 so my high school experience is still somewhat fresh both emotionally and in my memory. I went to a high school that is much closer to your daughter's school, at least in stature and prestige, then what I take yours to be. Still, it was probably the most transformative and at time traumatic durations of my life. Thankfully, the school itself and the people in it were a largely positive force throughout that period, ones that I can still look fondly on.<br /><br />Thanks again for sharing. Your writing is some of the best I regularly read.Sean Boocockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18425748399576955187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-24524069693966126692009-10-02T17:37:44.189-07:002009-10-02T17:37:44.189-07:00Jeff, I really appreciated this post. I've fo...Jeff, I really appreciated this post. I've followed you for a long time (in your magazines, here, on Twitter, etc.) and this post really moved me. I can relate to absolutely every feeling you expressed. And don't even get me started again on Buffy.<br /><br />My 20 year reunion was last year. Until a few months before it, I thought you couldn't pay me enough to attend.<br /><br />I was the deeply closeted gay kid in high school. A had a group of 2 or 3 girls that were friends (but didn't know I was gay back then) but was universally ignored by everyone else. Nerdy, skinny-fat, gawky, awkward. Smart, played D&D, etc. HATED high school. HATED HATED HATED IT. Lived every day in fear/shame/terror, etc.<br /><br />ANYWAY... In a million years I thought you could never pay me enough to go to a HS reunion. But last year, I got cajoled via email into going by one of the organizers - a classmate I was friendly with but didn't really consider a "friend". She and i never hung out but we used to laugh a lot because we sat by each other in several classes.<br /><br />Long story short, I took my partner (of 15 years) with me. I figured at worst, we'd get a nice dinner and have a drink and bolt. But a funny thing happened... I had a great time! I met up with her and go to know her. I also met up with one of my HS pals who I also thought would never attend in a million years. AND I met up with TWO great friends who I hadn't spoken a single word to in High School, but who knew me from kindergarten and were best friends BACK FROM 5th or 6th grade!!! It was a incredible!<br /><br />And you want to know the weirdest thing? If someone had told me I would have met or had to talk to ANY of those people beforehand, I probably would have chickened out. I only went because my partner had gone to his 20 year the previous year and he talked me into it. Plus the aforementioned chance for a nice dinner and bolt after.<br /><br />Jeff, I think you could really get closure if you went. Take your wife, bolt after dinner and couple drinks if it sucks. But go! At worst, you'll see that people change and mature more than you might imagine. At best, you'll get closure and find long lost childhood pals.Timhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15060685764601528000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-74682945326488120232009-10-02T13:35:52.886-07:002009-10-02T13:35:52.886-07:00This is the best thing I have ever read from you. ...This is the best thing I have ever read from you. I think a lot of us (that would read this anyway) felt the same way in our younger years.<br /><br />Thank you<br />ZarocAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-2239732411636106392009-10-02T13:11:15.403-07:002009-10-02T13:11:15.403-07:00I didn't have it as bad as you seem to have, b...I didn't have it as bad as you seem to have, but I can say that I was also fairly miserable in High School. For me, it's always been a matter of conformity: in High School, the teachers and the apparatus of the institution are designed to teach people not to think, to despise uniqueness and diversity, and to conform to the authority of the typical. Teachers would rather you parrot their notes than question the methodology of the construction of the notes' content. Peers would rather you parrot one-liners from sitcoms than use with to make a joke on the spot. Administrators would rather everyone sit quietly on the conveyor belt and get out of the institution.<br /><br />The sad result of this is that the most creative, interesting, intelligent people find themselves stifled and scorned for their independence and difference. You daughter is indeed very lucky to have a parent who protects those qualities of intelligence, lateral thinking, and openness to difference.Tydigamehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15493256286590683717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-29669360901765017542009-10-02T08:48:07.756-07:002009-10-02T08:48:07.756-07:00Well that was one of the greatest blog posts I'...Well that was one of the greatest blog posts I've ever read. No exaggeration I promise. Thanks Jeff. :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04320785419888561808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-37735711908992281522009-10-01T12:56:05.225-07:002009-10-01T12:56:05.225-07:00i was left out of my freshman year yearbook, and i...i was left out of my freshman year yearbook, and i was even on the basketball team.Ian Jacobsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14608677171502775722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-41505337965673735082009-09-30T09:32:22.454-07:002009-09-30T09:32:22.454-07:00Re: Prop13. PREACH IT, brother.
I love how "...Re: Prop13. PREACH IT, brother.<br /><br />I love how "old people" are the argument for every fucking thing in politics. "old people" need free doctors, "old people" need free money, "old people" need to have their taxes low and they need special cheap houses that kids aren't allowed to buy and they need to have relaxed driving requirements and special discounts and this and that and JESUS CHRIST JUST FUCKING DIE, OKAY? If you want to live by yourself that's fine, but why do I have to pay for your failure to save a damn penny for your retirement? Actually, not failure--outright <i>refusal</i> because you know that if I don't cover your greens fees and Bermuda-vacation funds, my ass goes into the jail.<br /><br />High School: On the one hand, you have people saying that homeschooling produces dangerously maladjusted borderline-autistic loners who can't handle social interaction. "You need that <i>exposure to society</i>," they say.<br /><br />On the other hand, you have people like Jeff, whose exposure to society left him worse off than if he'd just stayed home.<br /><br />(The funny part is when someone tells you a story about how awful their highschool experience was, <i>and then they turn around and shit on homeschoolers.</i> Like, Stockholm Syndrome much?)halojones-fanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05473935330204075559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-45839157437308703232009-09-30T06:52:15.997-07:002009-09-30T06:52:15.997-07:00Hey Jeff, thanks for the heart-felt blog. It is a...Hey Jeff, thanks for the heart-felt blog. It is amazing the trauma that high school can inflict upon us. It seems it takes the rest of your adult live to come to grips with its briefest period. For me - it was more middle school than anything. Puberty was not kind to me. Big goggle glasses, and a white guy afro ( I am convinced that my mother hated me when I look at the clothes I wore and the haircut I had, but she denies it ). Luckily, once I hit sophomore year, I got contacts and a haircut, and things turned around. I guess I am luckier than most - I just had my 10 year reunion, and I did actually go to it. 2 of the guys who bullied me in middle school, the ones who really made my life hell, separately came to me and gave me heart-felt apologies. I guess that they had had a hard time dealing with their guilt over their bastardly ways. It was a really cathartic experience, although I haven't entirely gotten over the shame of some of the experiences. Oh well, we all have our burdens to bear. I know that I left behind that small town a long time ago, and my life today is not based on my experiences then. <br /><br />All the best, man. Thanks for sharing.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13533665022910080717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-70958058746882700582009-09-29T22:10:57.944-07:002009-09-29T22:10:57.944-07:00Well despite the generational difference what you&...Well despite the generational difference what you've described is eerily similar to my high school, no GRADE school days. Basically Nursery through Senior year. And like you, I made the mistake of letting myself beLIEve all of the horseshit everyone through at me to keep me down. It is inspiring to see that other people have been able to do okay after such trauma.<br />What really makes me sad looking back though is that it took a national tragedy to make the majority of schools today make any sort of attempt to put an end to this shit.TheDeviothttp://thedeviot.vox.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-91090946480227599832009-09-29T19:41:49.196-07:002009-09-29T19:41:49.196-07:00For me I was already screwed up going into High Sc...For me I was already screwed up going into High School. I thought I was an outcast just because I was overweight and had been tourmented as the only white kid in Jr High. After the millionth time being too scared to talk to a pretty girl in class, the frustration made me take a good hard look inward at myself and find the repressed childhood memory of the babysitter's machismo husband with his angry face and steak knife held to a freightened 5-year-old's throat. Guess I was being too loud in the living room when this scumbag was eating his steak 30 years ago.<br /><br />Demons are a bitch. Maybe I should see a therapist, eh? lolAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-72059671397006012972009-09-29T18:54:25.094-07:002009-09-29T18:54:25.094-07:00No, Goose the doctor, I meant - he can't be gi...No, Goose the doctor, I meant - he can't be giving out too much advice. <br /><br />Also, I believe that there are a lot of regulars here. Most just don't leave comments. I'm guessing that for every one commenter, there are dozens of lurkers here.<br /><br />You have a pretty big following, Green. Don't let it go to your head though.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-2158576654860990412009-09-29T17:13:19.346-07:002009-09-29T17:13:19.346-07:00Not bullied. Except psychologically. And Berkeley ...Not bullied. Except psychologically. And Berkeley was a mixed bag for me--another blog post maybe. :)<br /><br />Goose--why won't you be here much longer? You're like a regular at this here bar!Jeff Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16156559263867246922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-83798972723345500442009-09-29T16:52:50.572-07:002009-09-29T16:52:50.572-07:00Oh, wait a minute - is he saying he was bullied?
...Oh, wait a minute - is he saying he was bullied? <br /><br />I thought he was saying that he just never fit in, and that he missed out on a lot of the things that his peers took part in? I thought he was trying to tell us that he had a difficult time communicating with people, and that, really, he kind of just missed out on the whole high school experience thing. (That would explain the nightmares.) (Also, it's a known fact that many people decide to teach high school for this very reason - because they missed out on the experience themselves, and so return as teachers to live vicariously through their own pupils.) (Disturbing, I know.) <br /><br />The doctor is now in:<br /><br />Well, part of the problem there is that Green is intelligent and doesn't have a huge ego. If you're stupid, then your experiences in high school are naturally going to be a lot easier. You can be intelligent and still experience the gamut of activities that you probably should experience, but you have to have a big ego also.<br /><br />Hmm, maybe I'd better re-read the Greenspeak blog. I'm a little confused right now. (Is anybody else confused right now?) Is there going to be a sequel to this? What happened to Green in University? I'll bet there was lots of studying involved, and not much else?<br /><br />Goose.<br /><br />(Also, if anybody else out there is experiencing psychological trauma, now would be the time to tell your story. I don't know how much longer I'll be here, but feel free to post away.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-46125170401767286742009-09-29T13:58:03.147-07:002009-09-29T13:58:03.147-07:00Yeah same experience here. Highschool played a big...Yeah same experience here. Highschool played a big part in making me the cynical, introverted people-hater I am today. Even though the memories of all the mean shit fades after awhile, the scars it leaves on your personality are permanent.Larsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-60180113401684086512009-09-29T10:48:30.106-07:002009-09-29T10:48:30.106-07:00Listening to the GFW podcast, I could feel you cri...Listening to the GFW podcast, I could feel you cringing at some of the Shawn Elliott bullying stories... It's interesting to note that the other side, the abusive kid at school, probably had deeper issues still with disfunctional families or terrible experiences, hiding all the time behind a bully facade. <br /><br />You both have obviously moved on, matured in such a way to actually be able to laugh together coming from two opposite sides of the same coin.<br /><br />I'm no psychologist here, but one fascinating undercurrent at the podcast was this subdued clash between characters. Shawn's Elliott stories and the family information that he chose to share, intended as funny anecdotes but sad at the same time, struck me as a public "coming to grasps" kind of experience, much like your blog post. <br /><br />Thanks again for sharing!Macroehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03488405406463386476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-31473076649358944252009-09-29T09:55:32.413-07:002009-09-29T09:55:32.413-07:00Jeff, I'm sorry that you dealt with so much cr...Jeff, I'm sorry that you dealt with so much crap in high school. My best friend went through much the same in high school. Unfortunately we didn't go to the same high school so, I didn't find out about it until after it happened. It still affects him, a lot. I don't know if you remember this, but I'm the one who asked why more girls in high school don't appreciate nerdy boys on the GFW Radio show. It makes even more sense as to why you said "Where were you when I was in high school?!" I'm genuinely sorry high school sucked so hard for you, because I definitely enjoyed the complete and utter lack of real responsibility. I wish I had had access to the kind of school your daughter goes to, mainly because in my freshman year of college, I feel pretty much completely unprepared for the challenge ahead of me. It's a mixture of complete and utter fear, and exhilarating excitement for something new.<br />Thanks for sticking with the blog, it's always an appreciated break from homework.Jennahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03671235043521866652noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-48372616424162262922009-09-29T07:36:41.713-07:002009-09-29T07:36:41.713-07:00I went to my wife's 20 year reunion. It is lik...I went to my wife's 20 year reunion. It is like you wrote, it is the same people organizing it and running it every time. They are were the school newspaper/yearbook nerds and they are the only one that seem to be represented. They seem to be re-shaping their high school experience after-the-fact or maybe they simply loved that part of their lives.<br /><br />I drew no satisfaction that many people at the reunion didn't move on with there lives and high school was probably their peak. <br />Honestly after going to the reunion I was really down for a few days.<br /><br />For me it was sad experience.TJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10571173651083878606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-59047802536111763732009-09-29T03:28:32.356-07:002009-09-29T03:28:32.356-07:00Hi Jeff,
I just put up an article about how the i...Hi Jeff,<br /><br />I just put up an article about how the internet is changing the way that news is written. I wanted to drop you a line to say thank you, because a couple of the GFW podcasts you did a while back really informed a couple of my arguments. It's here if you want to have a look: http://tinyurl.com/yb5wlga<br /><br />Thanks,<br />theoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-39823110947462668692009-09-28T22:51:46.543-07:002009-09-28T22:51:46.543-07:00That was great. For some reason I live in this dre...That was great. For some reason I live in this dream world where I think really successful people never had any real problems. Thanks for straightening that out. I'm less jealous now. :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-16424819525045948762009-09-28T21:51:53.332-07:002009-09-28T21:51:53.332-07:00Finally a piece with some shape.
Tweeting and wri...Finally a piece with some shape.<br /><br />Tweeting and writing game dialogue hasn't ruined you... yet. <br /><br />Funny that the banter you captured on the brodeo was that easy High School patter that seems elusive with the passage of time. Cheers boss.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-77251259425001197192009-09-28T21:49:35.499-07:002009-09-28T21:49:35.499-07:00Thanks Jeff. Very soul-baring and you managed to ...Thanks Jeff. Very soul-baring and you managed to make me remember the one or two bad experiences I had. Nothing like yours! I actually had a pretty good run that would have been better if my full allotment of self confidence had been granted just a year or two earlier.<br /><br />There wasn't much in the way of hazing at my school but there are one or two guys who I really doubt I'd save from being dragged into a wood chipper even now; I might even pretend to help just to draw the experience out for them. Old resentments die hard sometimes, and some maybe even fester in a black part of your soul that you ignore (no therapy for me!).<br /><br />*shake* Regardless, as you iterated and re-iterated, life is what you make of it and most of us are quite capable of making it great!Gregnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2446932103172180245.post-33761118204190558322009-09-28T19:48:10.214-07:002009-09-28T19:48:10.214-07:00Oh god, Raf, you beat me to it. Yeah, just Twitter...Oh god, Raf, you beat me to it. Yeah, just Twitter that nonsense the next time. <br /><br />Goose.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com