Monday, November 24, 2008

The needle and the damage done.

Shockingly, it has been a week since my last update here. Much has happened in that week. Most of the work on this site has been transferred to an outsourcing company in India, so I figured it was in good hands. But now that I'm here I see they haven't blogged for me yet, which was not part of the original agreement. So an international conference call has been scheduled for later, with my attorneys present, in which head will roll, my friends. Heads will roll.

In the meantime, I guess I'll have to update the blog MYSELF, which, really, at this point in my career, is asking a lot of me. Shouldn't I just be able to bask in my success on the executive board of Greenspeak, raking in the profits, padding out my golden parachute, laughing contentedly on the golf course with my other grey-haired white male friends, secretly worrying what the Obama presidency is going to do to my portfolio? Ah well.

On the plus side, or maybe the down side, I am totally addicted to WoW again. It didn't take long. In fact all it took was a reinstall on my still-crappy PC, as well as a download of Wrath of the Lich King, to sucker me back in, hardcore. Goddamn it! There I was, minding my own business, happily playing all sorts of other games---Fallout 3, Warhammer, Dead Space, World of Goo, Ticket to Ride, Final Fantasy IV, and many others---and now the evil folks at Blizzard have reeled me back in to the point where I've got those junkie-like jitters just being away from the game right now. I have achievements to catch up on! I have new zones to explore! My new deathknight, Deathbert, has bad things to do! When you factor in not only other games, but also other aspects of life--my job, my family, exercise, books, TV, longstanding home improvement projects dating back 10 years or so, personal hygiene, and a host of other petty distractions--it's clear that WoW just can't fit in with all of that. So that's why I'm giving all of that up to devote myself 24/7 to WoW. Yay! I think that is the only logical and mature decision to have been made here.

And speaking of achievements in WoW: Ugh. Really? I've been gone for months, so I knew they were there but hadn't experienced them yet. And here's the thing: I'm not an OCD kind of guy. I'm not. But there's something about seeing these obviously useless Achievements sitting there, waiting to be achieved, that activates the hamster-brain in me even as I know what I'm doing is stupid and pointless. To wit, last night I spent a good two hours roaming around the Eastern Kingdom, all over those lowbie zones, simply to get the Achievement for exploring that continent. I was surprised to see I didn't have it automatically, given how much time I spent there 4 years ago, but upon looking at the requirements, saw that I was missing a landmark or two in every single zone. But rather than just ignore that and get on with my life--or at least explore Northrend with my Coke Zero and Cheez-Its--I spent the evening riding around filling in all those zones, as moronic a way to spend my time as I can imagine. And yet, I liked it.

One achievement I got this weekend, too, freaked me out, almost to the point of scaring me straight off the game. It was the achievement for completing 1000 quests. ONE THOUSAND. (And what's scary, too, is thinking of all those I haven't done---boy, those developers have written a LOT of quests for this game) . 1000 times I have accepted the drudge work and delivery jobs and assassination requests and diplomatic missions and more for every random person I've met in the game. And yet, I get resentful every time my wife asks me to take out the trash. Something is not right here. And while I'd love to ponder it more, I really do have to get back to the game now. Oh wait, no---I'm at work! Shit!

HALP ME.

26 comments:

Nick said...

it's good to see your character back online, i do feel kinda sorry for you though, having to deal with people and answer questions instead of just being able to enjoy the game. Happy Questing

Jeff Green said...

ah it's okay. I have Alts if I need to be anonymous. :)

Anonymous said...

Is it a holiday in the U.S., because this blog was posted at ten o'clock in the morning?

Like, shouldn't you be at work? Or maybe you are at work? Or are you just sick again?

I'm at work. And you don't see me goofing off, do you... well, other than to read this blog maybe, and perhaps to engage in a flame war or two with Anachrosyn over at the TeamXbox forum.

Did you know by the way that Fable 2 enthusiasts will be getting some love in mid December - yes, siree, DLC has been announced.

Yeah, apparently we're going to be getting a tropical island which has been cursed, and now it just snows all the time. Our quest: to stop it from snowing all the time.

I think that there might some kind of global-warming symbolism in there somewhere.

I don't know, it doesn't actually sound all that interesting, really - I might outsource this quest to some guy in India.

Anon E. Moose

ThePiePieper said...

I see that you put a bold on "WoW" and "WotLK". Is that an old habit from working for Ziff?
What's wrong Jeff, not getting enough page clicks on your blog?

Sorry, couldn’t resist. Anyway, it’s good to see you back in Azeroth.

Jordan said...

Enjoyed your phone in to Legendary Thread for Damian's last show. Where just standing around in a hallway at work while doing the show? That is pretty dedicated.

Nate said...

I got the 1500 quests achievement last night, and immediately /facepalmed and logged off.... for about 5 minutes before I remembered that I was only 75 and needed to hurry up and hit 80 before my guild leaves me behind.

Sad life for me :(

Justin said...

Wait a minute...what about your beloved Warhammer!

Anyway, I'm glad to see you're enjoying WotLK as much as I am!

Juan said...

You had all but forsaken us here! This blog underwent a severe drought of Greenspeak until --finally-- you acquiesced to squeeze a few raindrops of your life into your blog. No MAJOR complaints though, just don't let it happen again, mmmkay? Two questions, what do you think about the new GFW aka LanParty / Ryan's podcast? When can we expect to listen to you regularly in a new podcast? Maybe if you started an EA podcast with your new pal Wil Wright. Have you had any extended time with him? ... sorry for the third question! Best Regards from sunny Mexico.

Josh O'Neal said...

Come on, old man. I'm about to ding 79 and I only had one all night session.

Anyways, glad to see you back blogging again. I miss the Jeff Green humor and your ability to say terrible things and not get punished. One question though. How do you still have a turd of a PC? You are Mr.Big EA guy, right? If I can get enough money from being a freelance game writer, then you sir should have the "OMG MegatonZ" computer.

Anonymous said...

Jeff,

I'm SO happy to see you are continuing Greenspeak online. At the risk of sounding ass-assy, your columns were BY FAR the best thing about CGW/GFW. Thank you for everything you contributed to your trade. Enjoy your new career!

Slapshot said...

WoW Achievements. Meh.

Apparently WoW wasn't addicting enough so they had to develop a stronger crack within the game.

evilkumqat said...

Adding Achievements was brilliant thinking for Blizzard (yet again).

Suddenly, people started going back to Ye Olde Worlde if only to do pointless things like exploring every, single, solitary zone (myself included- man it was fun trying to explore Teldrassil as an Undead).

What irks me, though, is those who have 375 in fishing didn't automatically get the fishing achievements.

C'mon Blizzard... how could I have reached 375 in fishing without catching 1,000 goddamned fish in the first place?

Sam Fishery said...

This is the best blog on the net.

Johnathon Brittain said...

After a week of anticipating your next entertaining post, I've come here today to find what has pushed me over the edge and back into Azeroth. I hate you Mr. Green, you've ruined me.

Also, I'm glad I found the blog, I've been missing reading your articles since CGW stopped showing up in my mailbox.

So thank you, and damn you.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of outsourcing your personal life, have you read this article Jeff?

http://www.esquire.com/ESQ0905OUTSOURCING_214

Mochi said...

I can't believe you had time to post something longer than "I am alive" with everything to do in Northrend. Wow is turning out to be harder than work. I get 7 hours of sleep going to work...I get 3 hours of sleep going to Northrend.

Mm...I think I may have an addiction.

Stephen said...

World of Warcraft???

That game still around?

J-J said...

Nice blog post. Dude you and Shawn should share this blog. Great idea right? It would make for semi-regular updates.

Robert said...

Yay, he's still alive!
Okay, for what it means to be alive when hooked up on WoW.

What do you think about the expansion so far? Death Knight and all that. Thoughts might very well be pretty predictable, but I like to hear yours anyway.
You could post such on your blog too, thoughts on the games that you play.

That'd be neat. Yeah.

Urock said...

I'm curious, is there something wrong with me? Having burned myself out on Guild Wars (one of my all time favorite games), I'm currently enjoying LOTRO, and the next MMO I have, sitting on my desk (as I patiently wait until GW2) is Warhammer. I have no plans to purchase or play World of Warcraft. I think just the sheer amount of content in that behemoth scares me away from it. O well. Enjoy WotLK while I enjoy Mines of Moria!

Veko said...

Welcome back to WoW, Jeff. I am in the same boat as you. The night before Wrath released, I accepted a Scroll of Resurrection from my brother-in-law and now, again, I'm playing it every day.

My only regret is that I work at night, and am off Tuesday morning, when the server downtime is. Darn you, Blizzard. Darn. You.

Anderson said...

It's funny how raising the level cap can bring us all back to the trough, but I'm really happy with the quests and content. A+, would buy again.

Tydigame said...

I hear you about a crappy PC...I went online to play Supreme commander, and the other guys asked me if I was playing on a laptop, and then kicked me for lagging. And my machine IS old, but it was still depressing.

World of Warcraft Gold Guides said...

good post :)

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