Wednesday, April 29, 2009

My first 100 days.

I'm the exact same age as President Obama.

I'm okay with this, but I do admit that ever since I discovered this, I've been in a little bit of a competition with the guy. I don't think he knows about yet, despite my late-night triumphant calls to the White House every time I get a new piece of armor in WoW ("Yeah, and what did YOU do today, punk!"). So now that everyone is making a big deal about HIS first 100 days, I think it's high time that I get credit for MY last 100 days. I'm calling it "first" in the header, by the way, because "My last 100 days" sounds a tad morbid. I could say "My previous 100 days," but that sounds a little wanky. So I'm calling it "my first 100 days" meaning, "my first 100 days since Obama became president." Just so we're all clear.

Anyway, here's what I've done in this time period, which we can all compare and contrast to the "achievements" of our new President:

* Washed my motorcycle twice
* Bought some sunglasses
* Blogged a few times
* Gained 5 pounds
* Read 500+ pages of The Brothers Karamazov
* Took wife out to dinner for anniversary
* Switched teams at work
* Ate approximately 15 burritos
* Took a few naps
* Watched 17 episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
* Watched a bunch of other TV
* Bought an EA t-shirt
* Returned 2 movies late to EA rental store and got banned for a month
* Hung out with wife and kid
* Started Twitter account
* Went on a hike
* Podcasted a couple times with Shawn, N'Gai, Luke, and Robert
* Shaved my beard
* Bought a couple music CDs
* Got zipper replaced on motorcycle jacket
* Saw play at kid's school
* Hung out with friends
* Started Left 4 Dead, Zelda Link to the Past, and Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga
* Saw Leonard Cohen concert
* Played with dog
* Cleaned up my cabinet full of game crap
* Joined fantasy baseball league
* Ate a lot of pizza
* Saw 1up gang and other game industry compadres at GDC
* Went to gym a few times
* Attended dinner to discuss 100 Years of Solitude
* Watched a few NCAA basketball games
* Got new pens out of EA supply cabinet

I could go on. But I think I've made my point. Look at this list! My accomplishments pretty much go on and on, don't they? It's really rather breathtaking to behold, quite frankly. Even given the high level of achievement I'm used to operating on, what I've accomplished in this last 100 days is something I think all people could and should aspire to. Obama may be all about "hope," which admittedly does have its place in the grand scheme of things, but I, ladies and gentlemen, am about action. Getting things done. Making things happen.

So congratulations on your "accomplishments" Mr. President. But hey, this competition of ours can only have one winner.

Better luck next time.

26 comments:

Jibrell said...

Well, you should've waited a couple hours so you could write:

"Watched the 100th episode of LOST."

In your list.

Lewis said...

Bravo. Is The Brothers Karamazov as my Philosophy teacher claimed, "The Best Novel Ever".

Anonymous said...

Wow, do you actually work? LOL, I thought that a job at a major gaming company would be more demanding on your time. I only saw one mention of anything having to do with work, and that was that you changed teams. There must be a lot of time on your hands.

Stephen said...

You went to a 'gym'???

And you call yourself a "gamer". Tsk, tsk!

meinard said...

*Returned 2 movies late to EA rental store and got banned for a month

I don't know why, but this is somehow absolutely hilarious to me. Picture Dr. Green getting booted out of the EA video store. For curiousity's sake, which videos were these? Also, kinda sweet that EA has an inhouse video store.

Jonathon Howard said...

Jeff,

Brothers is a great novel. The The Grand Inquisitor chapter being my favorite. I'm following you on Twitter now, though it seems you usually just put in song lyrics...

What podcasts are you doing? I miss the brodeo and a new chance to hear you opine on the industry would be great.

If you find that you like Dostoyevsky I highly recommend Notes from the Underground, the first existential novel/philosophical tract ever written.

Nick said...

Uh .... Jeff Green in 2016?!

Grubber said...

I voted for the wrong man evidently.

Adam Sharp said...

Jeff, when/where did you podcast? I'm always looking for you and Shawn but you're not regulars anywhere. Can you tell us what podcasts you were on?

Thanks!

The Detective said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Detective said...

The podcast Jeff is referring to is called "Out of the Game" and you can download it here:

http://mexicutedbyhepitacos.libsyn.com/

There have been 3 episodes so far.

Dan said...

You should have mentioned on your blog when you were on a podcast. I miss GFW and am following this blog to find out these things. You just mentioned that you were on a few podcast in the last 100 days and I missed them!

We would apreciate a heads up!

Thanks,

Dan

Shaun said...

Oh well, looks like its time to start the "Green For President" campaign. Youre a shoe in with that list Jeff!!

piratebrido said...

* Shaved my beard

Number 1 on your list must be 'Grew a beard' surely? It's one of the joys of being a man, such as lounging around in your pants (in the British sense) and not showering.

Chris O said...

I have to know why the start of LOZ? Are you preparing for the Spirit Train DS game?

Adam said...

Thanks Detective!

Anonymous said...

We The People, in order to help build a more perfect union...

* Washed my motorcycle twice
* Bought some sunglasses
* Blogged a few times
* Gained 5 pounds
* Read 500+ pages of The Brothers Karamazov
* Took wife out to dinner for anniversary
* Switched teams at work
* Ate approximately 15 burritos
* Took a few naps
* Watched 17 episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
* Watched a bunch of other TV
* Bought an EA t-shirt
* Returned 2 movies late to EA rental store and got banned for a month
* Hung out with wife and kid
* Started Twitter account
* Went on a hike
* Podcasted a couple times with Shawn, N'Gai, Luke, and Robert
* Shaved my beard
* Bought a couple music CDs
* Got zipper replaced on motorcycle jacket
* Saw play at kid's school
* Hung out with friends
* Started Left 4 Dead, Zelda Link to the Past, and Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga
* Saw Leonard Cohen concert
* Played with dog
* Cleaned up my cabinet full of game crap
* Joined fantasy baseball league
* Ate a lot of pizza
* Saw 1up gang and other game industry compadres at GDC
* Went to gym a few times
* Attended dinner to discuss 100 Years of Solitude
* Watched a few NCAA basketball games
* Got new pens out of EA supply cabinet

That is what I am talking about, my friends.

Felix said...

I supposed your wife is happy you did these two in this order:

* Took wife out to dinner for anniversary
* Switched teams at work

(Sorry, made me think of "The Beard" episode of Seinfeld).

Anonymous said...

The one thing on the list that appears to be 'presidential' - or at least the one thing that might match what Barrack has done during his first one hundred days... is the last item: namely, this business about stealing, or rather, 'acquiring' writing instruments from 'the cabinet'.

Are you going to tell me that Obama hasn't been loading up on office supplies?

Think about it, his term of office is only four years. He's The President of The United frickin' States. Nobody, right now, is going to notice if a few pens or paper clips happen to go missing.

You know he's loading up. I know he's loading up. We all know the guy is loading up. So why do we turn a blind eye to this?

This guy seems to have been given a free-pass. And, quite frankly, I blame Oprah for this.

Gabe said...

Hey Jeff,

I'm one of your anonymous followers that don't post on, well, anything. But when I saw that you had this thing with the current president, I had to say something.

I am exactly the same age as LeBron James. I am slightly less talented in basketball skills, but I do have other stupid talents that I'm sure I could kick his huge muscular ass at. I've been a juggler for about 13 years now and am getting pretty good. Check it here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2gjdtEcqSs

Just wanted you to know that you are not the only one that is in a slightly unfair ego competition. Thanks for your writing and keep doing it!

Nick said...

Where can I find the Podcast s you did after you left 1up?

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