Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The aging process

At some point I am going to sit down and write a long, cathartic post about what it feels like to be getting older, to see a show on TV called "Men of a Certain Age" that's about a buncha older dudes about to turn 50 and realize that is exactly what I am...but today is not that day.

Instead, I just want to mull over the photographic evidence. On a thread on the Internet today someone posted an old photo of me, and, looking at it just now, it made me realize something: LIFE IS SHORT AND OMG I AM NOT THE GUY I USED TO BE.

Cuz here's that guy:



And here's the same guy about 5 minutes ago:



WTF happened?

36 comments:

Derek Schrock said...

The time went in to video games?

djbriandamage said...

The quote in your title is KRS-One, My Philosophy, right? So despite your age you're not over the hill IMHO. That's some cool shit.

djbriandamage said...

"despite your age" yeah that's gonna make the guy feel better... doy

Jeff Green said...

haha :) that's okay! I know I'm old! That's the point!

Not KRS-One, btw, it's N.W.A. :)

Anonymous said...

Yes life is short.

It's also solitary, nasty, and brutish. Don't ask me what brutish means, though, because I just read that somewhere... I think, in The Lord of the Rings, one of the Hobbits might've said it?

But, yeah, short is the big one. Can you imagine how different the world would be if we were to live on for hundreds of years, instead of just the eighty or so we're given now? For one thing, the social contract would have to be rewritten - no way, for example, would it be prudent to have lots of kids... we'd have to agree to regulate that... some folks would want to have dozens of kids, and clutter up the world with smaller versions of themselves (why is it that the biggest assholes always seem to have, like, ten kids, whereas those people who exhibit fairness, kindness, compassion, etc., only have one kid, or just as often, none at all?).

Actually, a friend of mine believes that if we can somehow make it through the next five hundred years, which is far from a certainty, given that we're now living in what Winston Churchill described as 'a time of consequences', then it's probable we'll evolve into something entirely unrecognizable - for starters, humans of the future very likely will live on for hundreds of years.

Not only are we living longer, but we're getting bigger as a species too. Look back even a couple hundred years and you'll see that people were smaller then. In five thousand years we're going to be the size of dinosaurs. If you think Jennifer Lopez has a big ass, just wait. Even now, seating is being expanded in theaters and arenas in order to accommodate the ever increasing girth of Americans. The comedian Bill Maher was on to something when he said that anybody who is investing in any sort of 'ass widening technology' is going to do very well for themselves.

Maybe you're in the wrong industry, eh, Green? Get yourself into the ass widening sector. That's where the real job security is.

Christ, I'm starting to ramble here... gotta get some food into me.

Keep maintaining the blog, bitch!

geenpool said...

Eld happens.

Anonymous said...

Jeff, when you see your reflection in your iPad, do you see a double chin? That's what I hate about that device, the extreme angle accentuates the double chin effect and makes me look old.

Dan said...

Which is the old picture?

djbriandamage said...

Apparently both NWA and KRS spout that line:

http://www.metrolyrics.com/my-philosophy-lyrics-krs-one.html

Mitch said...

Jeff, I was just listening to you on the Giant Bombcast, and you're still awesome, man. I was betting your other job offer was with those guys, but I guess I was wrong. Even so, that would have been a good match, seems like you guys have a good rapport.

Anyway, I was really just coming here to say that young Jeff's jaw is AMAZING.

Jeff Green said...

@djbriandamage: Ah, didn't know that about KRS-One! No doubt he wrote it and NWA appropriated it? Thanks...

Tristessa said...

The photographic evidence never meant anything to me. My daughter is seven and she looks less like she did 3 years ago than I me compared to 8 years ago. But then...I'm just about to turn 43, so we'll talk again when I'm just under 50! =P

Neil Squibb said...

I like Jeff Green

Donald said...

By golly you look fantastic! What's your secret? I mean, really, it's...oh...wait. The BOTTOM picture is the current one....ok.

My condolences.



(on a serious note, I hope I age half as well as you, sir.)

Violet Son said...

The top picture is from around when you got married, right? Your wife must be pissed! How do you say "bait and switch" in French?

I kid! Actually, I think you are pretty distinguished looking now. At least you have hair.

Tristessa said...

Haha! Just read the comment I left and I must say, my command of the English language is right on par with the average American!

Something happened in the middle but I think you know what I meant. I'm blaming my age...

Glinkman said...

It's all about lighting my man.

Stephen said...

More importantly...

Which edition of Rock Band did that bass you're playing come in?
;-)

Anonymous said...

The top picture is before you started playing World of Warcraft, isn't it...

Anonymous said...

OH SHI- Jeff Green used to be a stud?!?! looking bad ass with bass.

Jamie said...

Have you tried posing with the guitar again?

Glenn said...

It's all good, Jeff. You've still got enough marbles rolling around in there to be an entertaining Internet star. Keep on rockin'!

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Felix said...

And he's gone again!

Sully said...

My friend! You bow to NO ONE.

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking a nice pair of Ugg boots would take 5-10 years out of your step, my friend.

Ugg boots! Don't get Mexicuted by hepitacos without them.

Cliff said...

Jeff get off your lazy chair and blog some more, lol.

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Anonymous said...

Jeff!
Just read the news.
Best of luck in Boston.

Anonymous said...

Four months and no update? This would be a great place to post an excerpt of the novel. Wow, this is one long break though.

Stefan said...

Haha -- I think this sums it up, In youth we learn; in age we understand.

Dining Table said...

Where not getting any younger. So we must enjoy our life by doing every little things with a happy thoughts.

cliff said...

Blog jeff blog. miss you.

Anonymous said...

Jeff, I've followed you on your twitter feed, so I sort of have an idea what you're up to these days. But what I really miss is you writing about gaming.

Me, I've played some great titles lately. I'd love to read about your own experiences.

We want you back in this space, man. Sentences... when you combine them you get... paragraphs.

Anonymous said...

I don't know if you're reading any of this or not, Jeff, but just a heads up - I've spent the entire weekend watching "Long Way Down", the second motorcycle journey with Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boorman, and honestly I thought it was better than the first series.

There's something about watching other people on a difficult journey that's incredibly compelling.

I didn't think that Africa would be all that interesting - but it was at least as interesting as where the two went last time.

You might want to check it out if you get the time. Probably something you'd watch by yourself - so if the family vacates without you, then that might be an opportune time.

trip said...

Jeff, we need to to blog more.

But that isn't what I'm writing about. I picked up a new motorcycle and wanted to send you a pic, but the last address I have for you is your ziff email.

I'm sure you have a shit ton of people who have emailed you, but look through your archives for 'tripmills' and send me a note, so I can respond.

I refuse to twitter.

peace...be good...