Until now, I did not know what I wanted for Hanukkah this year. Actually, no, that's not correct. I do know what I want. I want a large, flat-screen HD TV. And a new computer. And, hmmmm, well, world peace wouldn't suck. And a new writing staff for "Heroes." And the complete The Wire DVD set.
But okay other than those things, I hadn't really wanted anything. That was until today, when I received an AIM message from my good friend Dana Jongewaard, former CGW cohort, current editor-in-chief of gaming website Green Pixels, and, most recently, brand new mom. (Speaking of which, Ms Jongewaard asked me to relay to her readers why she hasn't written anything for the site for the last few weeks. The reason would be the arrival of the stork.) Anyhoo, there I was, minding my own beeswax, sitting at my PC and web surfing after being stuck in bed with a bad back all day, when Dana's message pops up on my screen:
"Have you heard of this?"
She didn't have the web link cleverly embedded there like I do, but that's the magic of the world-wide web. Anyway, go ahead and click the link, and then come back. It's okay, I'll wait. Okay back? Cool. I missed you. Anyway, if you didn't click on the "About Flame" button, here is what you missed:
"The WHOPPER(R) sandwich is America's Favorite(TM) burger. FLAME(TM) by BK(R) captures the essence of that love and gives it to you. Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat."
Okay, so you might think was a joke. And, in fact, it might be. I still can't tell. You CAN keep clicking the links until you get to an order page, where you can buy a bottle of the stuff for $3.99. So that makes it seem real. However, it's conveniently all sold out. And the customer reviews are suspiciously funny. So maybe that's all part of the joke too.
But what if it's not a joke? What if one of our largest fast-food chains is now selling meat-scented body spray? And what if enough people bought it so that they actually sold out? What does this say about us as a species? Is it a sign, at last, that we should just give it all up once and for all and let the cockroaches take over?
I'm thinking yes.