Monday, December 1, 2008

To the clown at my office

in the denim jacket with the Star Trek Enterprise emblazoned on the back: I know you must be excited and all, what with the new Star Trek movie coming out. That Zachary Quinto--he looks just like Spock! And didja see Leonard Nimoy at the end of the new trailer! Oh yeah! So I can understand why you might be a bit distracted. Still, may I suggest, as you boldly go through the front door to our building, that you, perhaps, set your phaser to CONSIDERATE and hold the door open for two freaking seconds for those walking a mere three feet behind you, who you know are there, due to the loud clomping of motorcycle boots that you could not fail to hear. Next time, just pretend, like, I'm Uhuru or something, and you're Kirk, and this is that episode where we finally kiss. Whatever it takes. I mean, sheesh. Happy fuckin' Monday to you too!

85 comments:

Fred said...

Ouch. Sorry to hear Jeff, that you might have been looking at some epic embroidery one second and nursing a shiner the next. I betcha its one of those really heavy narrow doors with the handicapped hydrolics too. Hope the rest of your day is better!

Alien426 said...

It wasn't his fault. The guy behind the wall who pulls the doors open wasn't paying attention. Pffsshht.

JugglerofGeese said...

I know how he feels, Of course my beef is with the half a dozen people that step just inside during a rainstorm and then stop to hold a conversation, then get mad when you tell them to get the eff out of the way.

T-Dawg said...

You know, Jeff, not everybody have gotten their luggage filled with good manners like us...

No wonder there are wars in the world...

Teanaholic said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Teanaholic said...

Next time why don't you man up and tell that to his face instead of blogging about it?

John said...

LOL! That was hilarious. But in all seriousness, perhaps he was wrapped up in his 5 year mission to seek out new life and civilizations...to boldy go where no man has gone before.

Jeff Green said...

Good idea. Then after that, I'll man up and tell you to shut the hell up!

Jeremy Steven said...

One of the Joys of Working From Home means I don't have to deal with @$$holes like that. On the other hand, I don't get to interface personally with cool people. In cyberspace no one can hear you scream (unless you're using VOIP...).

Eric Majkut said...

Hahahahaha. Awesome post. Mostly because I can totally relate. I generally try to be considerate about holding doors for people, but there's always that one jackass that refuses to acknowledge the existence of other human beings in his vicinity, and never holds the door for anyone.

Anonymous said...

Hey Jeff, after you tell Teanaholic to shut the hell up, can you tell that person to stop being so damn creepy. Unless it's a joke blog from a 1up employee, it has stalker written all over it.

She is suppose to be your "daughter" after all.

Troy Goodfellow said...

JEFF SMASH

Brad Covert said...

Great post. Sorry you have to deal with douchebags though.

Felix said...

Were your hands full that you couldn't push the door open yourself?

Are you a chick stuck in the 1950's?

"Oh, look at me, I'm a motorcyclist in tough motorcycle boots, and I'm crying because some guy didn't hold the door open for me... in fact I'm so tough, that I'm gonna complain to/about him hours after the fact on my blog instead of confronting him at the time."

We come here expecting a classic Jeff Green rant, and we get this!?!?!?! Something a 6th grade girl would write on her xanga.com blog!!!!

:)

Jeff Green said...

Okay. I see how it is. You folks won't be happy until I physically kick this guy's ass. Is that it?
I will do so and then post pics. Then can I get my man card back?

Felix said...

I'm not sure that will work either... beating up a Star Trek geek would be sadder than if you beat up a 6th grade girl.

:)

Derek said...

Monday monkey lives for the weekend, as Leela says.

Jeff Green said...

HOW ABOUT IF I JUST KICK YOUR ASS THEN, FELIX?

:)

Anonymous said...

What Felix said. If you weren't carrying anything which would make the task of keeping a door open difficult, why would you expect someone to hold the door open for you?

Felix said...

Ha!!! Bring it on, hippie!!

Wait, let me set down my Magic: The Gathering decks first!

Okay... no, another second... got to put down my Monty Python: All The Episodes boxed DVD set.

Okay... now I'm ready... for reals!!

Tim Douglas said...

The question to consider is:

Is this man a trek-kie or trek-ker?

Joe said...

Said Trekkon has probably given up on humanity after seeing those trailers. He's pretty sure this new movie is going to be a cross between Phantom Menace and The Rock. Who can blame him for shutting out a world that would allow such a thing to happen?

Also, you really shouldn't let it bother you so much. He could be feeling really stupid and embarrassed for slamming it in your face.

kentdoggydog said...

Sorry, Jeff, I'm with Teanaholic on this one. Unless, perhaps, your arms were full of delicious ham, I'm pretty sure you could handle that door all by yourself. However, I would like to champion my support of the revolving door. We need to bring those back.

TimLaws said...

Damn, I can't stand that shit. I always hold open the door for my fellow humans because I like it to be done for me too. You should leave some anti-Gene Roddenberry graffiti on the men's room wall to get back at the jerk.

Kyle Carmitchel said...

Hey, her name's UhurA you philistine!

And I couldn't hear the clomping of your stupid boots, I was so enthusiastically playing with my Wii-mote theramin this weekend that I pierced an ear drum.

Where the hell is Bones when I need him anyway!

Glen Haupt said...

Yeah, about that new Star Trek movie...

DO NOT WANT. I was never really a big Trekkie anyway, but it doesn't look appealing regardless.

Jeff Green said...

"Sorry, Jeff, I'm with Teanaholic on this one. Unless, perhaps, your arms were full of delicious ham, I'm pretty sure you could handle that door all by yourself. However, I would like to champion my support of the revolving door. We need to bring those back."

So, to you guys giving me grief, let me ask you: When you push open a door, and you know someone is a few feet behind you, do you just keep walking, letting the door close in their face? I wasn't asking here for the guy to hold it open like a doorman--just to extend the courtesy of keeping it pushed open as he walked through--which is what I think most normal, polite humans do.

Were you people born in a barn?

darvoid said...

Perhaps he'll read your blog. I doubt it though. Next time just ride up to him on that beast of a bike and tell him to be more considerate or you have his ass fired. That usually works.
Love,
Darvoid

Anonymous said...

Hell, I WAS born in a barn, and that's what I'd do. I don't have Star Trek on my back though, so maybe there's some sort of exception there...

Spod said...

How is this an issue of Jeffs manhood, you douchebags!? It's an issue of civility and manners. Simple. Annoyance at some peoples lack of scope outside of their own little existances and personal galactic mind voyages is the reason blogs exist.

Anonymous said...

It's all out war in the comments to this blog entry.

I agree with you Jeff. It only takes a second out of your day to be courteous and polite. Why can't people help each other?

Gentry said...

It's common courtesy to hold the door open for someone else who is behind you. Not doing so either shows that you are oblivious to others or are being intentionally rude.

Or it could be the guy was having a rough monday morning and didn't feel like being nice.

kentdoggydog said...

Door Holding Etiquette

EyeDoc said...

Short sweet to the point.....love it

Anonymous said...

Jesus was born in a barn...

Logan said...

Phaser setting jokes just became cool again.

Chris Tilton said...

This post blog exchange regarding Jeff's manhood is quite amusing.

Jeff Green said...

What truly saddens me is that no one focused on what really mattered here: the denim star trek jacket.

Anonymous said...

I'm kind of surprised that Jeff would actually take the time and blog about some inconsiderate coworker not holding the door open for him?

One would've thought he would be used to that sort of thing by now from having worked with Robert Coffey for so many years?

I'm going to have to write down that phrase though: Man up.

I kind of like that.

Yeah, Jeff, why don't you 'man up' and kick that guy's but - look at those girly toothpick arms of yours... actually I was kind of surprised to see in that Spore review video (in which the fire sprinkler went off... where was Shawn Elliott when that happened, by the way?) that you're short and stocky. You're not exactly the wimp that I had pictured in my mind?

Also, I think there's maybe the possibility here that this individual who didn't hear you coming up behind him was perhaps a member of the hearing impaired community? Was he carrying a walking cane at the time?

Jeff Green said...

Short and stocky? Those are words I have never heard to describe me. I'm 5'11, 175lbs (err, befor thanksgiving anyway). You're not wrong about the girly toothpick arms though.

Anonymous said...

Hey, that was a pretty sharp comment up there, by that other Anonymous.

Yeah, Jesus WAS born in a barn.

Let's not be too quick here to start bashing folks who were born in barns. If Christ was born in a barn then that should be good enough for the rest of us too.

Ah, but let's not forget that Jeff is Jewish.

Is it really surprising that he would play the barn card like that?

Delerat said...

I'm on your side that people need to be more considerate and I totally hold the door open for people all the time. But honestly, it's just one guy throwing another little inconvenience into your life that is only going to bother you more if you actually care. If you make a quick comment to yourself "That guy was a dick" then forget about it and keep going, life is much more enjoyable. Positive-thinking and all that.

Salaryn's Sword said...

Maybe the Starlog Store has similar jackets for sale so you can have your own and not be all grumpy and jealous.

If you were inventive, you could cobble together your own phaser so you could just nail the guy in the back next time he got slimy about the whole door thing. :)

Mark said...

Geez... I feel sorry for you, Jeff.

Someone else was an impolite inconsiderate jerk, and you're the one catching all the grief.

What's wrong with this picture?

Felix said...

"the denim star trek jacket."

Was this person Scott Evans?? Don't know if you've met him or if he's still working at EA, but if he is, punch him as hard as you can in the arm and call him "punk". Tell him that's from Felix. He'll know who you are talking about.

MSUSteve said...

Jeff, you've hit on my #1 pet peeve. I absolutely cannot understand why people do this. It might be a jerk move itself, but I always say thank you as the door slams in my face. Typically the person doesn't care or doesn't realize what he/she has done. Once in college a girl let a door slam right in my face and I thanked her for it. She turned right around and apologized and said she had no idea I was behind her. That made me feel a little bad, but I did appreciate it.

I also make a point to say you're welcome when I've stopped to hold the door for someone and they don't acknowledge that I'm even there; like it's my job to hold the door for him/her. Again, people don't typically react in any way.

Robert said...

No matter the important stuff. I'm totally with you Jeff. It's common courtesy to give the one behind you an open door. Too bad todays youth (and not limited just this group) don't think like that, of your next fellow. Okay, I belong to this category of youth, but such as a fact don't give me any right to act as a jerk.
Can such trivial thing be managed at my school, that ought to happen at a huge company, but perhaps that's one of those differences between the US and Scandinavia :P

Scott Gunsaullus said...

Passive aggressive are we? EA is a big company but you work with the guy right? If you really want him to be more considerate to you in the future, don't you think that satirizing him in your VERY popular blog is not the right move?

Try talking to the guy. If you just went so far as to learn his name, then you could call out to him when you're both at the door. God forbid that you ask him to hold the door, but you might go so far as to say "hey [insert name]," at the entrance next time. That will probably be enough to pull him out of his Trek daze long enough to realize he should help you out.

Growing up in sheltered lives, a lot of nerds just don't gain that stellar set of social skills. Trek Jacket dude might actually be a cool guy. He probably needs a few more friends; well meaning people who can consciously and unconsciously communicate some reasonable expectations of manners and etiquette.

On the other hand, if he finds out that you've been making fun of him all over the internet, then he might take it the wrong way.

Teanaholic said...

The issue isn't whether Star Trek guy was inconsiderate (he was). But Jeff did nothing about it except march straight to his office and type up a blog entry.

Way to be passive aggressive, Jeff. Awesome. Is this setting a fine example for your daughter? And you think you're a real tough guy too, riding a motorcycle. Jeff's true nature has been revealed.

Anonymous said...

These comments are a bit ridiculous. It was just a funny blog posting. It's only "passive aggressive" if he actually intends for this Star Trek dude to read it - which probably isn't the case. It was just a joke. Lighten up.

wobbles said...

I think you're catching a lot of flak because your post doesn't adequately convey why the guy should have held the door open for you.

You couldn't just, say, reach your arm out the three feet and grab the door before it closed? I don't get it. Did he grab the door and close it in your face?

The theme of the post is his star trek jacket, which is awesome, but the subject is the door. Subject tends to trump theme.

Jeff Green said...

Teanaholic--
I may be passive aggressive, but at least I'm not a creepy Internet stalker with a blog dedicated to photos of a woman I don't know! So I win!

TheToiletDuck said...

Oh snap, Jeff.

Yeah and you're totally in right about the door thing. That guy is being rude, plain and simple.

Anonymous said...

It must be the fault of those newfangled iPod devices. Folks these days seem to have lost the ability to pay attention to those around them.

Anonymous said...

Teanaholic...
Your blog? It's weird. Weirdo.

Slapshot said...

A denim, Star Trek jacket? OMG how lame!

Now if he had worn full dress jacket as per Starfleet regulations, now that would....

Um, nevermind.

kentdoggydog said...

Teanaholic was the guy in the Trek jacket! It all makes sense now.

evilkumquat said...

Scott Adam's Dilbert had a great strip featuring this very subject, but the Internet failed to provide me a copy of it online.

I could spend an hour looking for it in my vast collection of Dilbert books, scan it and upload it, but I'm too busy doing all those old BC quests on my 72 arcane mage in an effort to max out all her pointless achievements stats.

Plus it's too much work for something that won't get read this far down in the comments section.

In fact, it's probably safe to post anything I want down here because no one will ever read it.

Unicorns are cute. I once killed a dolphin by accident and blamed it on a homeless man. Sometimes I look at pictures of tsunami victims while touching myself inappropriately.

Kevin said...

"....just to extend the courtesy of keeping it pushed open as he walked through--which is what I think most normal, polite humans do.

Were you people born in a barn?"

Now if we were to have been "born" in this so called "barn" wouldn't we have actually just left the door wide open for everrryyonnneeee to just waltz in? Or am i gettin these old timey sayings mixed up?

Anonymous said...

@Teanaholic - ......ahhhhhh whoa dude. thats creepy

mario66 said...

oops didint mean to select anonymous. that was my comment above

halojones-fan said...

Denim jacket? Dude, you work at EA. Denim jacket is probably dressy.

Anyway, to turn it backwards: It really cheeses ME off when I'm holding a door for someone and they push on it anyway. Like, I'm standing there, and as they walk through they sort of vaguely pat at the door as they pass. What, you're thinking I'm going to slam it on your ass?

fps fanatic said...

LOL! That was great. Not great that some ass didn't think to hold the door open for you. But I could just imagine the look on your face. ;) Good to see you posting on GAF again. I enjoyed the GWJ podcast. Listening to you and Shawn again was great. Good times.

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