Friday, November 7, 2008

Fun with animals.

Part of the awesomeness of my new job---along with the phenomenal burping of Veronica, one of the producers here--is that I am currently getting to spend a lot of my time doing research on animals. Yes, while my co-workers are slaving away squashing bugs, I have the fortunate luxury of looking ahead to future games in the SimAnimals line, helping to figure out what would be cool, and possible, to include.

Because I am the product of the shitty American public school system, however, and also because I didn't pay much attention anyway (but still managed to get almost straight As) I don't actually know a whole lot about animals now. Except that I like them. So now I'm giving myself a crash course in all sorts of things--which is also giving me a side course in geography (hey--Africa is a continent!)--through extensive reading, Wiki-ing, and watching of channels like Animal Planet, when they're not doing one of their 35 shows on dogs.

For one small example of animal coolness, check out this warthog, who you think may be in for trouble--but keep watching. This dude is an inspiration to all of us, I think:

A couple other random animal facts to infotain you with on this lovely Friday afternoon:

* The word "gorilla" derives from the Greek "gorillae," which translates to "tribe of hairy women." (Probably coined after the discoverer visited Berkeley.)

* Hippos can run up to 30 MPH, which is faster than most Prius owners go on the freeway. They can also walk and run along the bottom of rivers!

*Giraffes sleep an average of only 1.9 hours a day, which means they could get through Fallout 3 AND the Malazan novels a lot faster than I ever will.

Okay. That's all I got for you right now. Please carry on. I shall be back again with more Fun Facts to Liven Up Your Lives.


Anonymous said...

That's a warthog, Mr Public School.

You should watch that awesome nature doc that was released recently... uhh... Planet Earth or some such thing. Brilliant. Narrated by Sigourney Weaver.

Jeff Green said...

Um, doy. I meant to say that.
Correcting it now.

And Planet Earth is in my netflix cue. :)

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I'm a nit-picky internet jerk. Simple mistake.

You should just buy Planet Earth (blueray if you can play it). After all, it's a tax write-off. Amazing stuff in there.

It's a lucky man who gets paid to do what most of us do when we're goofing off at work....

Anonymous said...

Hey Jeff, SimAnimals? is that the secret project you were talking about before leaving GFW radio?

Jeff Green said...

Yeah, no--that wasn't it. That's what I was moved to after the secret project went kablooey. SimAnimals is not secret. :)

Michael Adamek said...

Will there be an M-rating for Lion vs. Gazelle fights?

Anonymous said...

SimAnimalFights, holy crap that's brilliant!

Unknown said...

Couple of comments

1) Why did that Lion just sit there while that warthog was ramming into it?

2) Since your "secret project" went "Kaboom!" does that mean it's no longer a secret? Or was this along the lines of "EA was trying to create WMDs and we don't want Obama to find out." If that is the case, just do a "/wink".

Unknown said...

Is there going to be the cheetah vs. Thompson gazelle foot race in your game?

That'd be awesome.

Anonymous said...

Here is an interesting fact, over a long enough distance (actually this is really a theory) a Human can out run almost any other animal. There is a marathon held every year where a bunch people race horses, this year a person won.

Ken in Irvine said...

I don't have a source on this one, but I have heard many times that hippos kill more people than any other animal in Africa.

Macroe said...

Planet Earth o BlueRay is certainly great. On a totally different subject, I want to ask you my top Greenspeak questions of this weekend:
1. Are you listening to the Ryan podcast? If so, what do you think? IMHO it's not that bad, though I miss your GreenBrodeo moments aka calling Ass-snot to Mr Asnault.
2. Do you keep in touch with Sean and Shawn? Could we expect a taped reunion?
3. Will you eventually start an EA staff podcast? Imagine yourself in a "Hello and welcome!" weekly sitdown with Will Wright... YAY!
In the meantime, best regards from Mexico!

Anonymous said...

interesting facts

Peter Fall said...

das cool, Jeff. I love aminals and the Sim games. I was thinking of some other Sim games you'll could branch off into, watcha think about Sim Bees, Sim Underwater Animals (expansion pack), Sim House Plant, Sim Preaching, Sim President, Sim Sim (design your own Sim game!), Sim Electricity (power the world!), (my little sister says) Sim Horsey, Sim Sewing, Sim Sperm Whale, Sim Sardine (imagine it!), Sim Reading Rainbow!, Sim Doctor, Sim Secretary, Sim Time (...unreal), Sim Weather, Sim Inventions, Sim Origami (I don't know. I just like it!), Sim Stamp collecting, Sim Friends (actually, that's Myspace), Sim Natural Landmarks (...i have no idea what my sister is talking about..), Sim Haircut.

Anonymous said...


I find your information regarding giraffes somewhat lacking. Please refer to this recent nature documentary, and update your database as necessary.


ps I miss you

spate said...

Hey Peter, you missed the Sim Sons..

Peter Fall said...

da Sim-Sanford-And-Son?!?! Hell brotha yeah!

Anonymous said...

I'm going to cross post this here from GAF:

You, Shawn, Ryan and Sean/Robert should play through L4D together and record the session. If not the video then at least the audio. It would be hilarious.

Jon Lynch said...

Clearly, the barriers between our own world and Disney's are collapsing.

God help us all.

Anonymous said...

You should read "Last chance to see" by Douglas Adams for some awesome wacky animal insight, if you haven't already. Maybe you can preserve some of these digitally.

Anonymous said...

I'm hoping for SimPutTwoAnimalsInAJarAndSeeWhichOneEatsTheOther, myself.

Anonymous said...

Come on Jeff, if you were on GFW and someone acted all pleased to be working on Sim Animals you'd rip the shit out of them. ;)

boop said...

The More You Know!

Anonymous said...

Read up on the honey badger, probably the most fearless animal on earth. It's been known to rip the testicles off grown men, seriously.

Anonymous said...

One of the funniest and cutest cat videos evar.

Unknown said...

Sim Velociraptor? Like sim-ant, except this time its you vs the humans. Invade the human nest, and dig lots of holes so the tyrannosaurus rex can get in and eat them up.

Unknown said...

OK for us older generation, you can't beat Godzilla versus Bambi!

Anonymous said...

So in SimAnimals you are an animal? You make animals? Is it like the Sims where you can dress your dog in little sweaters?

Anonymous said...

Just wait 'til you reach Memories of Ice and kiss your job and social life goodbye!

Joril said...

So how big a theme is antropomorphism in SimAnimals, there's some inherent dangers in that, imho.

Have you seen the work of art: "The Kiss" from Wim Delvoye? He makes a valid point, maybe you'll find it to be interesting.

Anonymous said...

Man! I kinda fell behind on your blog for a while there. Good to get all caught up.

Here's another crazy animal act:,,6313835,00.jpg

That's a SPIDER. Eating a BIRD. Scary stuff. And I already wasn't a fan of I'm absolutely TERRIFIED of them.

Connor said...

Man that spiders pretty scarry!

Anonymous said...

I found this link on Stumbleupon about recognizing a cat's disposition by its tail. Not only is it a really interesting read, but it's a very skillful example of effective technical writing as well.

Anonymous said...

Don't be fooled folks, this is advanced footage of this new EA game Jeff is working on. The lion is just caught in a texture seam.

Come beta that pig is dead meat.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chad said...

I came in here to say something and it's apparently already been said, but I'll say it again because it's crucial: You need to read Last Chance to See by Douglas Adams. It's not a very long book, you can easily finish it in a weekend (or maybe a full week if you're busy), but for me it's like the literary equivalent to Planet Earth, just some really cool and fascinating animals written about by a very funny British dude.

Anonymous said...

Somehow that warthog moment reminded me of this moment (very end of the clip)

Jordan said...

You, Jeff Green, and Shawn Elliot are married!? Or trying to? I had no idea. Vote on Proposition 8 people! So these love birds can get together!

I was just listening to Gamers with Jobs with special guest Shawn Elliot. It was nice to hear that 1UP ties run deep. How will you reciprocate Shawn's devotion, Jeff?

Grubber said...

Seriously, GWJ would be 10x awesomer if you and Shawn would join in the Skype madness. Do it. Pretty please?

halojones-fan said...

You know that whole "Africa is a continent" thing is total bullshit, right?

A choice quote:
"[the creator] said they chose the name because “all the neocons in the Bush administration had Jewish last names and Christian first names.” "

Because bigotry is entirely acceptable, and in fact hilarious, as long as you're making fun of Jews!

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