Tuesday, September 16, 2008

A few words before House.

House, the TV show, that is. Which is on in 30 minutes. Which I am gonna watch with my wife and kid. Because we love that show. Because we love Hugh Laurie. Because he is awesome.

I had what turned out to be a very busy 2nd day of retirement today. I didn't even get to log onto AIM and check in on my kids at 1up.com, which I did yesterday just to remind them I wasn't dead yet, even though, apparently, they have already stripped my office bare. And, boy, did I leave some goodies behind for them! Among the items I did not take home with me:

*A cheapass electric guitar w/practice amp
*A few Gunsmoke action figures
*Civilization: The Boardgame
*A G4 collapsible picnic chair w/carrying case
*A beanbag chair with a hole in it
* Three signed art prints from Baldur's Gate II
* A Mr. Spock action figure
*Two WoW action figures (Tauren shaman and Thrall)
*A pile of shitty PC games
*blank notepads that say "Jeff Green, Editor-in-Chief, Computer Gaming World" up top

...and much more! I originally was going to haul most of this crap home, but, after filling three boxes already with *other* crap, I decided that that was enough crap for one man. So congrats to my ex-coworkers who absconded with the good stuff.

Meanwhile, my day was full of fun stuff. To wit:

1) Motorcycle shopping. I've been leaning towards a Yamaha VStar--either a 650 or 750--to help me deal with my 70 mile a day commute to Electronic Arts. However, upon arriving at the dealership, they immediately began pushing me on (of course) a bigger bike: The Vstar Classic 1100. While I know they just wanna get more money out of me, the salesman did make a lot of sense: Bigger bike = less work for me w/the throttle, plus lower center-of-gravity = safer and more comfortable. So I dunno. I kind of fear a big bike because I am pretty much a slight, wimpy kind of guy. If this thing goes down, and I'm under it: Yeah. Not pretty. And if it goes down and I'm not under it, I don't even know how I'd pick it up. So who knows. Gonna test ride it tomorrow to at least check it out. Here's what we're talking about:

2. Saw Burn After Reading with teh wife. Like many a geek, I am a Coen Brothers groupie, so this was a must-see for me. And, ya know---kind of a disappointment, I'm gonna say. Of course, their movies always get better with repeated viewings (I actually didn't even like Fargo at the theater, which blows my mind now), so I will revisit this later. The acting in general was pretty great, with Malkovitch and Brad Pitt rocking it in particular, and J.K. Simmons stealing the movie in the final scene. But overall this one felt shakier to me than other comedies of there--not as consistently brilliant as (my fave) The Big Lebowski or Raising Arizona. There were long stretches that just felt more odd than actually funny to me. (Though I felt that way about Fargo at the time, too.) Still, hey, it was a Coen Brothers movie, and it was the middle of the afternoon. SURE BEATS WORKING!

3. Attended my daughter's second-ever cross-country race. We are not an athletic family. We run/jog, but that's about it. Neither the wife or I were ever on a team sport. (Okay, I was in Little League briefly, but the trauma of that should be recounted in another blog post some day, so for now we'll pretend it never happened.) So for my kid to go out for this, be on the team, race with the team, finish the race, and actually do well is some kinda transcendent, awesome victory, for her, for our family, and, heck, for humanity in general. Go humanity!!

Okay, my time is up. It is time for House. Meanwhile, if more pictures of me and my now-ex-coworkers being drunk and stupid is what you crave, go check out Sam Kennedy's blog post at 1up.com, where he wrote some extremely nice words and posted some extremely ridiculous photos.

Here's a sample for ya (I think I was on the bar stool, "healing" my co-workers):

Oy vey.


Jeremy said...

Awww man Jeff, you should've thrown that cool stuff up on ebay. Just add, 'last touched by Jeff Green' and you'd easily make enough for permanent retirement. Oh and those pictures are hilarious!

Lyphen said...

What!? A thrall action figure? I would've bought it!

Mathew said...

Might I suggest wasting some time at hulu.com? If there's a show you like and havent seen it in a while, watch it there. wakka wakka!

AfroJoel said...

Buy a bigger bike!

Rune Lockhart said...

house is truly good show indeed!
The Movie "Burn After Reading", i'm going to see tomorrow. iF i had the chance i surely would have Locus'd the crap you left,Lol...
but as for the commute you should get those headsets that have headphones built-in. a podcast or music on a bike ride makes for a very short commute!

Joe said...

I saw on Shawn Elliott's twitter feed a pic of him and Jason Bertrand wearing some sort of Jeff Green face printout over their crotches. Kinda weird, ignoble tribute if you ask me. It sounds like they were enjoying your second day away more than you were.


Pepper_ROni said...

+1 to house
+1 to Yamaha... great bikes

Chuck, the fixer said...

Don't sweat the size of the bike. I could pick up my KZ1000(This was back in the day) and I only weighed 140(Way back) in wet leathers. It is all about the technique, besides how often do you drop the damn thing anyway?.

Dane said...

Having a big ol' hog like that will make you feel like a total badass. I'd go for it.

Also, Awesome pictures.

lowlight said...

An old-man bike, I knew it! ;)

B Smith said...

I am envious of whatever lucky bloke who got the Baldur's Gate II art. Despite some grumblings by friends and reviewers I can't wait to see Burn After Reading because like you, I am a Coen brothers diehard. I saw Miller's Crossing with my dad and I haven't been able to stay away since. I just have to convince my wife to tag along with me... hmmm how to do it.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget to get a bitchin' motorcyle jacket like House's!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha, oy vey indeed.

Ackbar said...

Cross Country is an awesome sport. It's one that you can do for your whole life. Glad to see your daughter is making good choices about being active. It's far to easy (especially in a city) to get lazy.

Anonymous said...

jeff green the v-twin man. whoda thunk! id say get the liter vstar! why? well bigger is funner. the mpg isnt that much lower. like 44-45 compared to 49 youd get from the 650. but the biggest thing for me..... i worked on a 650 vstar last week and the one thing that shocked me was it only has a single disc front break. dude the difference between a single disc and a dual disc could be your life out on the highway. youll have alot better stopping power with dual discs.

if the bike falls over your probably not picking it back up again. almost 700 lbs. =) just a thought.

so i dunno if youve already said. but when do you actually start work at EA? so we can pack you lunch.

Jennifer said...

missed you today on AIM, jeff!

Full Disclosure: I snagged the BG2 prints and a reporter's notebook. Thought about grabbing the guitar too but it felt wrong.

Alex said...

Who needs a magazine when you've got a personalized memo letterhead? This gives me hope that I can achieve more as a Journalism major than the coveted head fry-cooker position...

Have you had much difficulty with discourteous drivers in your years cruising the Bay Area highways? I recently moved to the area and am considering purchasing a naked bike for city travel, but friends insist that riding in California guarantees death or painful dismemberment.

Mike said...

Gunsmoke action figures? Where do I find those?!

PolyBulman said...

One space between sentences, even on a blog? Jeff, you are indeed a magazine man. Best of luck on your new venture!

Dtrescott said...

is the bigger bike as good on gas as the smaller one?

House is good stuff...are you a Heroes fan as well?

Cloudstrife said...

What kind of cheap guitar? What kind of practice amp?

Pretty nice looking bike. How much is that gonna set you back?

Scott said...

The V-Star is a fantastic bike. 1100 isn't necessarily all that big for a cruiser, where on a sportbike you would be killing yourself. 650 though should be more than sufficient - it all depends on your skill level and how long you've been riding for, too. The idea of "less work on the throttle" is kind of stupid because more work on the throttle = more direct control of your speed. As for dropping it - I've got a 560lb ugly beast that I've dropped a few times, and if you know the technique (put your back against the bike, lift with your knees), you can get it back up without a problem. Youtube has videos to show you there. Or you could just install crash bars/"engine guards" and that way the thing shouldn't fall over unless you are in an accident, in which case the weight of the bike will be your last concern.

Also, House last night reminded me how formulaic that show is. Who didn't see that Wilson monologue at the end coming word for word? (I still can't not watch it)

Brynn said...

"Less work on the throttle" is about the dumbest sales gimmick I've ever heard. It's not like you're trying to kick a lame horse into running faster. The 650/750 is plenty of power and you won't have any problems with it. The lower center of gravity making it "safer" is also retarded. If anything, all that extra weight makes it much more difficult to handle.


Slapshot said...

Dibs on the Mr. Spock action figure!

Yeah, I said it...

b said...

No Peggle Nights review code? You can share that one with me. Hey Dad,
Where can I get the Brodeo Mug? Are they selling them to the masses yet?

Grubber said...

Oh damn, I would paid for a cheap-ass electric guitar... (Seriously, damn)

Well... said...

Good times Jeff Green, good times. I'm sure you kept the Yaddle Milk though.

surfsimply said...

Jeff, you use the word awesome a lot. Which is awesome.

I'd like to throw some advice your way about bike buying, but I ride a 49cc scooter, so what the hell do I know?

Tom Kim said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kai said...

I think that looked like the incantation for Curaga. I could be mistaken though.

Jeff Green said...

Bah! So much good advice about the motorcycle. But you don't all agree! What's with you people! Ike O, what you said about the brakes though made my wife pay attention, so if I do get the bigger bike, I may have you to thank. :)

But, yeah, thanks to others for setting me straight on the salesman-speak. I don't know enough to know when I am being BS'ed about this stuff. I'm a rider without much practical knowledge (I've been riding for 7 years...)

Jordan said...

Hey Jeff I was pleasantly surprised to hear you voice, all be it an altered voice, during the dramatic reading on 1UP FM! It really made my day. Hope you enjoyed the episode of House with your Fam. Congrats to your daughter too!

Tom Kim said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tom Kim said...

My lovely wife has taught our 3-year-old to refer to riders of two-wheeled conveyance as, "organ donors." (I hope that is never your fate, sir.) :)

Revision: though I have to say, after checking out pics of your farewell party, I'll pass on your liver.

Eric Majkut said...

Forget the rest of the blog, I'm amazed by the insane dinners you eat every night. For crying out loud, I need to marry me a French woman!

surfsimply said...

@Tom Kim. donorcycles

Mark said...

Motorcycles: Although there are no official MPG numbers, smaller is generally better. This works for my wife's 250cc Yamaha cruiser with 75-80 MPG... until I needed to go 70 on the interstate and had to run the throttle wide open. It dropped to about 50-55 MPG (and I ran out of gas unexpectedly). And that's why I need a 750, now to convince my wife of that...

Anonymous said...

Over at 1up there was a thread just recently in which you answered reader questions.

One of the readers asked you if you had watched the television documentary "Long Way Round" in which Ewan McGregor and his good friend Charlie Boorman attempted to drive their motorbikes around the world - the route took them through Europe, Ukraine, Kazakhstan, Mongolia, Russia, across the Pacific to Alaska, and then down through Canada and into America.

If you haven't done so already then you really should buy the DVD. (Be careful though because there are two different DVD sets. One set is the full television version, whereas the other is an edited, truncated version, which you don't want.)

I'm not a motorcycle enthusiast but I really enjoyed this series.

I even bought the book of the series. The book alternates between Ewan's comments and Charlie's comments, and for the most part these comments are a fine enhancement to the DVD. My only criticism of the book is that the ghost writer was unable to lend a distinct voice to either Ewan or Charlie, and in consequence I found it difficult, at times, to keep track as to which person's comments I was reading. I would often think I was reading Ewan's comments when really I was reading Charlie's.

Nevertheless, I recommend that you buy both the DVD and the book - neither should be too expensive right now.

All of this is just a prelude however.

The real gem is the series that happened after "Long Way Round".

Jeff, you know how forum members at 1up are always saying that they feel as though they know you. You'd feel the same way about Charlie Boorman if you were to watch "Long Way Round". Ewan MacGregor is the guy with the big name of course, but Charlie Boorman is the person who makes the series a true joy to watch.

The Series that Charlie filmed a year after "Long Way Round" is called "Race To Dakar", which is obviously a documentary about the Paris to Dakar Rally.

I find "Race To Dakar", which I've just finished watching for maybe the fifth time, to be more admirable than ever - this is the type of series that you'll happily watch over and over, and each new time will be better than the previous.

The best thing to do would be to watch "Long Way Round" on DVD, and then to read the book of the series. This will prepare you for "Race To Dakar", which - trust me on this - you will watch in complete wonder.

My god, man, how can you call yourself a motorcycling enthusiast and not have watched these shows!


Jeff Green said...

Huh. What do you guys think about Kawasaki Vulcans?

Now I'm looking at the Vulcan 900, which might be a nice compromise between the 650 and 1100....

scott said...

If you've been riding for 7 years then I doubt there's much that's going to really surprise you or overpower you unless you've been riding motorized Razor scooters. Vulcans are good bikes too. Honda Shadows are also good, as are Suzuki Boulevards. Any of the Japanese cruisers are built well and are fairly equal in quality.

I have a 92 Suzuki GSX1100G and I like those because Suzuki reuses a lot of the same parts for a lot of their bikes, which means that spares are in large supply even if your bike was only made for three years like my little bastard child. But they all have pros and cons.

As a side note, do you guys have some sort of lefty biker gangs in SF? I'd assume it's a much different vibe than the take no prisoners types up in NY.

Jeff Green said...

Thanks, Scott. All those bikes you just mentioned are what I'm about to go look at today. :) I've been riding a Yamaha Seca II (600cc) for about 6 years now. I love the bike, but it's old, w/32K miles on it, and since I'm about to ride 70 miles a day, I figure it's time to upgrade.

Wabe: added those DVDs to my netflix queue. :)

voi666 said...

with a commute like this you should really look into motorcycles with a windshield and cases for your stuff. backpack on a bike sucks.

Slapshot said...


Will you trade in the Seca II? I think you should raffle it off with the proceeds going to the Jeff Green PC Gaming capital fund.)

I'm sure you'd find buyers amongst this crowd.

"Hey, this is the bike Jeff rode into work at Ziff!! Just think...my butt will be where his butt..." Well, you get the idea. ;)

voi666 said...

a used bmw k or r series would be cool

ThePiePieper said...

Nice choice in bikes. I would stick with what you originally wanted. If the dealership is going to push a bigger bike in you, it sounds like all they want is money. You go car shopping for that kind of treatment. Anyway, whatever you buy, I hope you have fun with it.

Brynn said...

The single disc front brake won't be the difference between life and death. I guarantee that you can lock the tire with a single disc brake - therefore the limiting factor is the traction of the tire, not the brakes. Dual discs, however, makes braking easier (don't have to pull as hard for same braking force).

But yeah, as said, any mid to high displacement Japanese cruisers will work well. I'd suggest focusing on what feels and looks best. The mechanical differences (besides engine size) between them aren't significant enough to really matter.

I also liked Long Way Round, but I couldn't sit through the entire thing. I also disagree about Charlie - I think he ruined it. It's been too long since I've watched it to remember why, but he had a really annoying personality.

JLT said...

I'd recommend Scrubs. Just like House but equally impossible and more John C. McGinley.

Mark said...

I loved the Long Way Round. They did a second one (which I have not seen yet)... Long Way Down

My "dream commuter bike" is the BMW 650 GS (dual sport) set up for street with the cargo boxes. I see a lot of these around town (Fort Collins, CO), many of them coming from HP, Intel and AMD... well seasoned (old) engineers who can afford it.

The windshield is a good call. When I ride interstate without it, my chest becomes a sail and I finish the 11 miles with tense forearms and feeling of having done a few stomach crunches. Also, much warmer. Also, looks stupid, but you can bet I'm putting it back on when winter comes.

MrCHUPON said...


Have you left Spores behind? Suddenly Bertrand and Ellis have become mini-yous.

OberstKlink said...

Now you can meet up with Shawn and play golf... http://tinyurl.com/5yn6qk

Dogooder said...

1up just got a whole lot less funny. Now that you and Shawn have left. Any ways you should buy a Triumph Bonneville, a 67 or a 68.

Tom Quinn said...

Please don't buy a motorcycle, Jeff... get a nice, safe car instead! (sorry if I sound like your mother)

Also, do you have any comments on Shawn Elliott leaving 1up?

Dtrescott said...

Shawn's now leaving too....Jeff what have you started.. :D

JJ said...

I really like how you keep this blog updated daily. Its like you never left. Thanks a bunch Jeff, I hope you continue to keep updating when you start working.

Kyle said...

So Shawn's leaving too. Is 1up a sinking ship?

Ken said...

Oh the Milky Way has gone a little sour
The leaves dried and the flower fell away

Jordan said...

You better post a review of House... what did you think? Moving the series forward or the exact same stuff they've been doing forever?

Resmi said...


Jeff Green: Good Taste

Laz said...

House was awesome, eh? Wilson gave it to him hard. I was kind of surprised, I had no idea he felt that way! LOL, I sound like some kind of douche.

Anyway, I just heard you left 1up recently and I figured I'd drop in and say Shalom, hehe. I don't know if you even remember me but I used to post on the 1up boards as Hypernova and was one of the few Jewish gamers over there. I played some TF2 with you and Shawn back when it first came out too.

Well I hope your new job is even more rewarding than your last, take it easy my friend.

Glen Haupt said...

Yeah, Burn After Reading has moments of hilarity, but was overall kind of slow and...well, pointless. But I think that's what they were going for.

I would have watched House, but I don't have a cable TV at college hooked up. So darn.

Anderson said...

House is the best American (for pretend) doctor (for pretend) ever.

Ternus said...

The vstars are really nice bikes as far as a foreign cruiser goes. I wouldn't worry about the power on it either, it will go faster when you want but at least you wont be popping accidentally like on a crotch rocket.

Anonymous said...

Brynn, that's great what you said about not liking Charley Boorman - it just shows that there's simply no accounting for taste.

I'm often struck by the manner in which people will 'prepare' me in advance to like or not like a person. "You're going to hate this person," they'll say in advance of introducing them to me - and then I'll meet that person and think, wow, this person is amazing!

Other times I'll have been told that 'the person you're about to meet is incredible', and I'll be standing there thinking, 'no, this person isn't incredible, this person is just a jerk.'

In this particular case you're just plain wrong about Charley Boorman. He IS a fantastic person. :)

Also, what's that about Shawn Elliott? - he's left 1up too? Jesus, the rats are really jumping the ship, aren't they.


Weather-Man said...

Damn, I was sure you were going to get V-Strom or a BMW.

Mrdiko said...


I'd be looking at a naked sports bike like the z1000 or cb1000. It's the fully loaded mid life crisis bike you need.

I'm mean, just look at it:

Mongo said...

Huzzah more posts! I implore you to bug Shawn Elliot to set up his own blog since he is now leaving 1UP also. I'm hoping hes joking but I don't think he is.

thechosen2nd said...

With the departure of Shawn, it seems the once-fruitful GFW radio has shriveled up, like the teats of Yaddle after Age eight hundred. May we soon find Ziff's profits in the tubes, or some similar retribution for letting you guys go.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mahalie said...

I'm pretty surprised you didn't love Burn After Reading. I'm a big Coen Brothers fan myself and I thought it was right up there with their best stuff. Lastly, I can't tell you how many commutes you helped get me through with the Brodeo. I can't thank you enough. Best of luck.

tydigame said...

You do a better "innocent delight" expression than anyone else. Between the photos and your picture in the titles of the summer 1up Show, you are the poster child for existential glee. Must not have been playing Space Siege those days.

Dan said...

I could never get used to Hugh Laurie using an American accent.. Especially after his Blackadder work.

morelli said...

If you like Hugh Laurie, he was one of the main characters on "Jeeves and Wooster" a classic british comedy. Checkit.

Chris said...

Id recommend 'A Bit of Fry and Laurie', which is a seminal, and somewhat smarter than youd expect sketch show from the early 90s.

That, along with a couple of other shows were 'my' Python.

Miguel Angel said...

Awesome entry keep em' coming Mr. Green. I never would have seen you as a House fan though Mr. Gilmore Girls. JK great stuff.

xian said...

agh! Tivo cut off House just as Wilson was telling him the real reason why he was leaving. What did House say to him? How did it end?

Also, how can there be a House [Ho(l)me(s)] with no Wilson [Watson]?

The Meehoo with an Exactlywatt said...

Glad to hear I'm not the only one that did not like Fargo on the first viewing. But after it was used in the screenwriting course I'm taking I have a new appreciation for it.

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