Saturday, September 13, 2008

Oh dear.

It is a measure of just how epic and awesome my going-away-party from Ziff Davis Media and was last night that I feel utterly miserable today. I may not have had this much alcohol since college, which was like 70 years ago now.

The entire evening is kind of in a blur, with many hours unaccounted for, but I do know that a large crowd of fellow 1upers, ex-1upers, and friends was gathered at Steffs, the grungy sports bar conveniently located about 200 feet from our office. Much imbibing was then embarked upon. Despite my own awareness that I am kind of a lightweight, that nevertheless did not stop me, whatsoever, from joining a group who were determined that I would do one shot of liquor for every one of my 17 years at Ziff Davis. I am here to report that we did not succeed--thank goodness. We did, however, made it about 7 or 8 shots in, of whiskey, bourbon, and run, not necessarily in that order. This was accompanied by many beers in between.

And here is a photo, thanks to Tina Sanchez, of me with those shots I was just talking about:

This was all great fun, and in between drinking I was subjected to repeated chants of my name, as if I had been hanging out with a bunch of soccer hooligans and my name was Manchester United, and I also had the chance to engage in the kind of mushy heart-to-hearts, chest-pounding declarations of love, and backslaps and sloppy hugs that we humans can only engage in when alcohol is involved, and which, on sober reflection the next day, seem kind of embarrassing but actually not regrettable.

From here, though, my memory gets shaky. All I know is that somehow I ended up, with no memory of actually getting in there, inside a limo with fellow gaming journalists and friends Simon Cox, Garnett Lee, Matt Chandronait, Patrick Klepek, and Kat Hunter. We drove I don't know where and then found ourselves inside a loud and packed club, where for the next I-don't-know-how-long we danced, drunkenly and ridiculously and with great joy, with everyone in the place. I do also recall at one point being up on some kind of stage-like platform, above the crowd, with Garnett, Kat, and Matt. I also recall at one point I found myself seated at a table with total strangers. I don't know how I got there or what I said. Hopefully it was something smart and witty, but let's not bank on that. Thankfully, at least, I am quite sure I did not vomit on their table. So we'll call that a victory.

From there, we piled out onto the sidewalk, probably at around 1:30 a.m., and then made our way to some kind of restaurant that is apparently extremely popular with folks in SF who are actually out that late. Patrick Klepek had now mysteriously vanished, but Garnett, Kat, Simon, Matt and I pigged out but didn't really sober up much, as I recollect talking the head off the poor waitress, though I think in a friendly drunk way. I think.

After that, I was piled into a cab, where the kind and friendly driver patiently listened to me babble while driving me across the Bay Bridge to my home in Berkeley. Arrival time: Sometime after 2:30 a.m.

My head, it hurts.
My heart, it is both happy and heavy.

It was an amazing sendoff--the whole day, in fact, not just the drunken part--from my friends and colleagues at In this first day after, as I nurse this hangover and deal with the fact that I am no longer employed at the place I spent the last 17 years, I am focusing most on this one true thing: No guy has ever been this lucky to work with such cool people for so long. For that I thank you all.


James D. Bausch said...

I have to give props for writing all that hung over. I'm not quite as old as you, and when I tie one on, I can't do much more than moan the next day.

Chris Tilton said...

Sounds like a great success. I hope Patrick delivered my message to you, though if he did, I'm sure it was promptly forgotten in a drunken haze. Here's to the future!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like an awesome sending off. All 1up readers are going to miss you

Austin Robinson said...

You're way more coherent than I ever am after a night of drinking like that. Long live the King!

Zoso Fan said...

Awesome! Please don't stop with these blogs!!

TheK3vin said...

Ah, Drunken Debauchery. The ultimate cure for sad.

James said...

Glad you had as awesome a Friday as I did

Rob Zacny said...

This is what kind of sucks about freelancing: you don't really have coworkers. On the other hand, you don't have a real boss or required work hours, but I miss the friendships that came with having a legit job.

Although it's probably good that you hung it up before they wiped out your liver. My friends think the best gift is the gift of cirrhosis.

Dogma said...

I'm gonna miss you on 1UP and GFW Radio. But I already bookmarkeed this page so I hope to see more of this good blogging for quite some while.

Cheers to Jeff!

/A swedish fan

Violet Son said...

"Now is the time for drinking, now the time to beat the earth with unfettered foot." — Horace

A good send-off, by the sound of it. Now you have two weeks to sleep it off!

Ian said...

O_O Attempting to do 17 shots. Man oh man.

yoonas said...

Ah, drinking...heaven and hell combined.
Sorry to hear about your hangover, eating something cold (preferrably Ice-cream) helps me almost every time.

Matt B said...

Thanks for all you've ever done, Jeff.

Way to go out in style as well, glad you had a good time.

quicKsand said...

Sounds like you have some great friends and coworkers! I remember moving on from one job I held for a while and getting drunk at the bar down the road. The only difference was I was alone and no drunken hugs were exchanged!

houston3000 said...

Sounds like a blast, I need to party more like that

Anderson said...

You, sir, deserve the celebration.

Chris Ferguson said...

Congratulations man, you deserve it. Keep up the blog posts and good luck at EA.

Ken said...

I know the feeling, just moved into my university so I've been partying every single day for the last two weeks. but last night someone shared a bottle of rum with me. But hey, i'm still what you'd call a "young whippersnapper" so I'm going again tonight.

Cheers Jeff, and lets enjoy this video together.

Luis Magalhaes said...

You, sir, will be greatly missed.

I know that the brodeo will always be awesome,and you told us to still listen to it, but you know, it's like the Queen without Freddy Mercury. I don't know if I can stomach that.

I haven't known GFW and 1Up for nearly as long as you worked on it, but from what I read and listened of you, I can only say: It was a triumph. Huge Success. :)

SwiftTheRedFox said...

God I already miss you man. I'd have helped you with those shots. Quick question, are you going to have to relocate for your job? I'm pretty sure you won't have to considering you might be on the Brodeo every now and then in the future. But I just wanted to check.

Chris B said...

LOL sounds liek you had a great time. That is good, because you deserve. You better be doing some podcasts though!!1one!1

Cameron Blatchford said...

I had my own sending off party last night as well. I'm off to Kyoto for a year, so my friends and I celebrated with rock trivia at not just one, but two pubs!

Here's to you, Jeff :D I'll nurse my hangover alongside yours.

Jordan said...

What an awesome going away outing.
You deserve it :D

Graeme said...

Glad you had a great time, Jeff. Look forward to your guest appearances on the Brodeo!

Dogooder said...

Ten to one says they liquored you up to soften the blow of the failing grade they eventually give your first game that you crafted so lovingly.

Fikus said...

Best of luck in this transition. Please keep us up today on your Blog.

Fikus said...

today = to date in Fikusish..

Michael said...

Many and sincere congratulations on your new gig, sir.

B Smith said...

Sounds like the sendoff went as well as you deserved. Based on what I've heard in the various 1up Podcasts, I'm sure the boos were top-notch.
I've gotta say 7-8 shots plus beers for one who considers himself a lightweight ain't bad at all.

Mathew said...

Great send-off indeed. Much luck to your new Sims job sir!

Also if you know who Don Vito is of CKY fame, he did 50 shots of peach schnapps... dudes nuts. Its gotta be on youtube somewhere

Willie said...

Good luck in your new job Jeff. You did exemplary work at the magazine and on the site -- particularly on the Greenspeak articles which were always a joy to read. Any thoughts of hosting your own podcast? I'm sure many GFW Radio fans would look something like that.

RRC589 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
RRC589 said...

I just started listening to the Brodeo a couple months ago and I'm very sad to see you go. I felt like I've known you guys forever after the first couple podcasts I listened to, which I think says a lot about how great that podcast really is. I wish you all the best at EA.

Justin said...

Huzzah!I was just thinking how awesome your farewell party would be. Thanks for keeping up with the Blogging! I will be checking out from now on also.

Alan Scott said...

Sounds like an epic sendoff. You deserved nothing less, my friend.

Resmi said...

Nice one, sounds like it was a suitably legendary send-off for a suitably legendary guy. It's going to make an amazing memory I bet. Best of luck in the future brother, love your work.

Lyphen said...

Glad you had a ton of fun on your sending off party, and I'm also incredibly impressed at your ability to type while sloshed.

Slapshot said...

I hope you know that we, your devoted fans, were there with you in spirit...which may be another reason why you drank so much. ;)

End of an era, Mr. Green. I wish you well at The Sims and look forward to your blogs.

Anonymous said...

I had a similar experience when I left a job a couple of years ago. I remember that warm feeling of love the next morning, mixed with fear of what I did during the "dark hours", and the puky feeling of course. Mostly it was just the puky feeling...

Brian said...

I was getting a little misty watching the video of the last GFW radio. It was heartwarming to see the mutual admiration you all share.

Sunrise, sunset.

CGW was my first and foremost source of PC gaming news since the early 90's (so ancient that you advertised play-by-mail wargaming back then!) and I, barely a pip at the time, was sufficiently inspired by your publication's enthusiasm and professionalism that I went on to pursue education and employment in writing myself. CGW, GFW, and the brodeo were all the products of high intellects that were ecstatically fascinated by the topic of PC games, and as such you conveyed a journalistic voice that was important for me to hear and see displayed proudly on the front racks of reputable news stands, validating my own fascination.

Keep doing what you do, wherever you do it, just the way you've been doing the do all along. You will succeed. Much respect and best wishes from a longtime CGW reader, Jeff.

"We're living in the best of times" - Jeff Green

Peter G said...

Miss you already!!!


/A Danish fan

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing. Sounds like it was fun.

Patrick said...

And so the legend of Jeff Green is passed on to the first generation of story tellers...

Tony said...

Wow, sounds like a total success! I would have loved to have seen the whole thing go down. Ah well, have fun doing nothing for a few weeks Jeff!

Justin said...

Sounds like it was a fun time and props to you for sharing it with us, despite the hangover!

Anonymous said...

i have had that happen to me; thanks for sharing with us; if i was your friend i would have shielded you from all those shots and maybe you would have remembered more of that night.

Mark said...

Jeff, don't be ashamed of being a lightweight drinker.

7 or 8 shots is better than none at all.

RetroBob said...

Sounds like a quality night!

Troy Goodfellow said...

Dude...I'm too old for that kind of night. How can you manage it at your advanced age/respectability?

-WiFi Pirate- said...

Just one more war story to add to the rest. 17 shots for 17 years was very ambitious, especially with beer in between. Sounds like a great send off. Hope the next part of the journey is just as fun.

John Rivett said...

Good thing you didn't accomplish the 17 shots, who knows what goofy shit you'd scream in you sleep to frighten your poor wife. "I AM KIROK!"

Or it'd probably be like a Max Payne dream sequence, I suspect..

Dan Clarke said...

Sorry to see you leave ZD, but the way 1UP has gone recently and the whole industry, you are probably better off.

Best of luck in future endeavors!

dcohen said...

"Thankfully, at least, I am quite sure I did not vomit on their table. So we'll call that a victory."

Hahaha, I agree.

Tristessa said...

Nothing wrong with being a 'lightweight'. I never really saw the value of being able to drink lots more alcohol. It also saves you money to get wasted on a lesser amount!

RB said...

Epic. You rule.

KernMist said...

Jeff rules. That's all there is to say. :)

Salaryn's Sword said...

Sounds like a great sendoff. Glad you included the shot of the shots so we didn't have to suspect you were drinking Diet Cokes all night.

Sorry to see you leaving 1Up, but onward...glad you went for a personal blog so you could just let er rip, as only you can. :)

deadpixl said...

Sounds like you went out with a bang!

piratebrido said...

Suppose now isn't the time to mention heavy petting with a biker named Dan?

Christopher DeMarco said...

Will miss you on GWF Radio... damn you.

Hope to hear you back, and hope that Shawn and Ryan and Anthony and Robert will hold it together.

Rune Lockhart said...

god ,jeff!...your the man1
your the only blog i ever really read.please don;t stop here. your are one hell of a writer with true intend. it's a shock to c u go but let your words live on here...Thank you for the 10Years of articles that i have been reading.

Thor Jarle said...

It sounds lik you have had a terriffic time at the good-bye-party! When are you on the Gamers With Jobs podcast?

Booger Patrol said...

That is an absolutely classic photo

Maurice said...

I'm so happy that you are still going to be blogging! I absolutey loved CGW and was hooked on the podcast!

On another note, imho Malazan is the best series out there and the first book is actually the weakest in comparison to the others.

Clifford said...

A very sad thing about leaving 1up/CGW is that at least there you could cool off with the sprinkler system water when it got too hot in the office. So I hope that EA will be just as kind.

By the way what are you going to do at EA? Remember that Will works there and so don't diss Spore. Words to work by.

Last of all watch the movie Office Space.

Best of luck.

msdmoney said...

I meant to post something over at the 1up boards, but since I'm a terrible procrastinator, I'll do it here, late as always.

I want to thank you for everything you did with CGW/GFW and 1up. I really appreciate the direction you took CGW/GFW, and I really thought you guys had something special with the editorial content that was critical and insightful. I don't really know of much else like it in an industry that seems to be fascinated with exlusive reviews and hyperbole.

There is no other podcast that compares to the Brodeo. It's the only podcast that I would actually check for updates, rather than waiting for the next time I synced with itunes. You guys struck the perfect balance of being candid and insightful about the industry while keeping my laughing the entire time. You're voice reading the Warhammer lore still pops up in my head occasionally and makes me laugh. I've listened to a lot of podcasts, none delve into games as deeply as GFW, past the graphics/sound/controls checklist, or puts the mirror up to the gaming press to the same degree. I really appreciate the perspective you brought to the podcast.

Thanks for all your work throughout the years.

Wes Hindman said...

I just barely updated my podcasts today to find that my two favorite 1up editors have left and that my favorite podcast is over. depressed is a word i hate using but seems appropriate for this situation. good luck in all your future endeavors and thanks for the great stuff from gfw and the brodeo

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