Hoo boy. Tomorrow is the day. The transfer of my soul will be complete.
First Ziff Davis had it, for 17 years, then I had a week of being a Man Without A Corporation, and now tomorrow the deed will belong to Electronic Arts, my new masters for however long I make it there. Which hopefully will be longer than one day.
I have no idea how my first day as an Associate Producer is going to be, after spending all these years as a journalist. We shall see. Am I nervous? Why, yes, I am. Am I excited? Yes--more than the nervous part. It's really not often that one gets a chance to start over and plunge into something new...and I'm grateful for the opportunity. So now I have to not screw it up.
With this in mind, and without knowing what to expect, or not, I have made a small list of what not to do tomorrow, in the interest of job security:
1) Show up drunk.
2) Ask if my new machine comes with Peggle, and if not, can I please install it ASAP.
3) Casually observe that I sure am bored!
4) Ask if I can leave early so I can stop by the head shop on Telegraph in Berkeley before it closes.
5) Strip to my boxers and run through the EA hallways yelling, "I'M IN THE GAME!"
6) March into one of the executive's offices and ask what the fuck is up with the DRM in Spore.
7) Try to break my record for loudest belch ever.
8) Tell my new boss to be quiet because I'm trying to play Word Challenge on FaceBook.
9) Fall asleep.
10) Ride my new motorcycle into the EA Cafe and yell, "WHICH ONE OF YOU BITCHES WANTS TO GO FOR A RIDE?"
People often wonder how I lasted at Ziff Davis for 17 years. It is because of lists like this one. You set goals, and then you keep them. This is the secret to my success. Feel free to copy and paste this for use in your own life.
And wish me luck for tomorrow!