So THAT'S what it's like to have a first day on the job as a new guy. I'm exhausted--and I didn't even do anything. Plus, just as I suspected, I couldn't find the bathroom when I needed it. Fortunately, there was no soiling of pants involved. Sure, I hopped around a little, whistled loudly as a way to stem the tide, focused on baseball scores, and did the bending-over-with-my legs-crossed-while-holding-my-breath thing. But I'm sure no one noticed. Anyway, someone did finally take pity on me, and pointed me in the right direction. Unfortunately, I only made it as far as the sink. Let's hope EA doesn't have security cameras in the men's room. Note to EA security: just kidding. No need to review the tape. Anyway that guy just looks like me.
Other than that, I don't have much to report yet. My new co-workers are great--as I suspected they would be. Sodas are 25 cents. There is supposedly a profanity jar, which I didn't see, but, if it really exists, is going to contain a lot of my money that would otherwise be going to sodas. I have two monitors, which means I can play Peggle on one screen while monitoring my progress in Dungeons and Dragons Tiny Adventures on the other. I ate two tacos from a taco bar. I won a copy of The Orange Box PC for successfully answering a trivia question in the orientation. I ordered my iPhone. I opened my new email inbox and found 82 messages waiting for me. I ate two cookies. I received an EA coffee mug. I wrote my name on a card.
Certainly, the days ahead are going to be a bit more momentous and productive, in terms of actual work accomplished. But I don't know if many more days are going to be as exhausting as this one.
Holy shit: I'm the new guy.
I better get some rest.